170 When you love someone….
Ramsey
I stood before the floor–length mirror in my room, watching as the servant meticulously adjusted my ceremonial attire for the Harvest Moon Festival, which would begin at midnight.
My room, which used to be a sanctuary, felt suffocating despite its size. My grandfather, Elder Eldric, stood near the tall windows, his cane lightly tapping the floor as he gazed at the servant. intently, as if taking his eyes away would cause something to go awry.
Lenny–my Beta leaned against the small reading desk at the corner of my room, reviewing my itinerary for the evening and reminding me what I had to do or not while Cassidy lounged on the chaise, scrolling through her phone. Even the servant assisting me with my attire moved silently. yet managed to add to the suffocating atmosphere.
It was weird that I had almost everyone in the room who adored me, yet I felt like the most unloved person in the world. For the longest time, my grandfather would always come to hang around whenever there was a big festival to watch me dress up. He loved it more than anything.
“And then, you have to recognize, Alpha Ray, his pack had the most bountiful harvest this year up West and they paid all their taxes and pledges, too. There’s also Alpha Cade, who helped a lot of the smaller packs when they suffered through those Feral attacks months back. He sent out his warriors and protected his own pack with his family. I heard they’re all skilled warriors, Lenny was saying.
“One year after a child is born, regardless of the sex, they’re made to start learning basic combat skills,” my grandfather chirped. “So, the entire population from the West can fight. I wish we had implemented it before. It would give me peace if I knew half the members of the White Moon Pack can deflect a blow.”
“Don’t worry, Elder Eldric, Lenny soothed him. “This generation of kids we’re raising will become
skilled warriors.”
Lexhaled slowly again, wishing the knot in my chest would loosen, but my chest was still heavy with emotions I could barely name. My mind wandered to the scene at the bonfire earlier–Lyla and Nathan. Their happiness had radiated like the flames themselves.
Lyla’s laughter, their shared glances filled with want for each other, had stirred up a storm of conflicting emotions within me. The image of them together refused to leave my mind. Their happiness had been genuine, unforced. It was the kind of bond I’d always imagined for myself- the kind of bond my parents had and something I’d never quite managed to find.
I sighed wearily, hoping the ached would subside.
“Ramsey, my grandfather broke through my thoughts. As he came closer to me, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “The Harvest Moon Festival would be the perfect time to announce the new date of your joining ceremony officially. With all the packs at ease and the joy that comes from this celebration, I think it’s time to
let everyone know and it would not be selfish to go ahead as
planned.”
I nodded silently, my reflection showing a perfect mask of composure they hid the turmoil
14
- When you love somecon…
I nodded silently, my reflection showing a perfect mask of composure they hid the turmoil
withing me.
Then my grandfather turned to Cassidy.
“Are you ready for a wedding as soon as the festival ends, my dear?”
Cassidy glanced up from her phone, her expression calm but distant. “Yes, Elder Eldric. I’m ready, she replied evenly, though there was a quietness in her tone that I couldn’t ignore. She doesn’t seem like herself these days.
My grandfather must have noticed it too, because he frowned slightly, his eyes narrowing at her. “You’ve been quiet lately, Cassidy. Almost too quiet. Is everything all right?”
“I’m fine,” she replied quickly. Our gaze met for a brief moment in the mirror, but she turned away immediately, offering a smile to my grandfather that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
We’ve gone for a few days, more than a week, without any altercation, and I noticed she was no longer in my shadows like before. It was either she’d be in her pack or, if she was around, she would remain confined in her room.
Satisfied or maybe unwilling to press further, my grandfather nodded. The servant finally finished fastening my cloak, bowed and excused himself. My grandfather also muttered something about last–minute arrangements and gestured for Cassidy to follow him. She rose gracefully, sparing me one last lingering glance before she left the room with my grandfather without saying a word to me.
Which was so unlike her!
I was used to her complaints and ceaseless questions about things that didn’t matter, so seeing this mute version of her… I loved it so much.
Finally, it was just me and Lenny. His gaze was on me, filled with concern and curiosity as soon as the door clicked shut. He came closer, folding the itinerary and tucking it into his pocket.
“Are you alright? Lenny asked softly.
I sighed and shook my head. “I’ll be lying if I say I am. I’m not, Lenny”
I turned to the mirror, my reflection staring back at me with a weariness that felt bone deep. “Nathan came to see me earlier,” I began with a hollowness in my voice. “He asked for my permission to propose to Lyla during the Harvest Moon Festival”
Lenny’s eyes widened in surprise. “And you said yes?”
A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “I did. That was the hardest ‘yes‘ I’ve ever given in my life. Standing there, watching him as something inside me tore apart and pretending I wasn’t green with envy, but the truth? It’s killing me.”
I adjusted my already perfect attire–moving the pins as my hands trembled slightly. “Everything the Moon Priest said about destiny, about balance, about me and Lyla… I don’t believe it anymore, Lenny. Not when it’s this hard:
Lenny sighed and patted me comfortingly on my back. “She’s happy with him, Ramsey, and sometimes, the greatest way to love someone is to let them go, knowing you cannot provide
170 When you love someone….
“Don’t I deserve to be happy?” A sad smile curved my lips. “Don’t I deserve to be with the woman my heart loves dearly? The woman I’ve longed for. I’m just worried that I’ll never be what Cassidy wants and it breaks my heart every time I try to imagine our future together..
I paused, closing my eyes, literally picturing myself and Cassidy as mates. “We’ll make each other unhappy; I know that much. I wish I can love her even for a bit but, my heart is closed off from her entirely and I feel so bad because she deserves better. She deserves a man who worships the ground she walks on.”
“She chooses this path herself, Ramsey. More than anyone, I know your history clearly and I know how much she’s practically being chasing after you. It’s not your fault that happened, and I think you should tell Lyla about that thing
“What difference will it make?” I scoffed. “It’s not like she would leave him for me.”
“Maybe if you had been clear about everything from that first day and tried not to be a Lycan Leader around her, maybe none of this would have happened. You see how easy it is to bond with her when you stop overthinking things and just let your feelings lead?”
“I don’t want your lecture now, Lenny I glared at him. “For all your talks about things like this, you’re still single. You don’t want to find a mate?” I turned away from the mirror. “Come to think of it, are you even dating anyone?”
He chuckled. “I am seeing someone currently, but you know I love to keep all my relationships private. That way it makes breakup less messy and I’m not really the marrying kind. I’m the let’s have fun for now kind of guy
“Good for you!” I smirked.
our worst
Lenny’s face softened, and he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Sometimes, our fears about something can turn out to be nothing but a farce. You could… maybe, just maybe, find something real with Cassidy and then both of you might actually have a good marriage.”
I wanted to tell him that this was reality and not some made up fairytale, but I nodded absent–mindedly. “I want to be alone.”
He hesitated, but finally stepped back as he started for the door. Just as he reached the door, I stopped him.
“Have there been any sightings of the two–tailed werewolf? And what’s the situation with the
Ferals?”
He shook his head. “No sightings of the two–tailed werewolf, but we’re sti
ports about the Ferals either. It’s as if they were never here”
reports
“Thank you,” I murmured.
Lenny nodded and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
looking, and no new
Alone at last, I walked to my desk and pulled open a drawer. From it I retrieved a small, worn out picture frame. Inside was a photography of my parents. They smiled back at me from the picture, their smiles frozen in a moment of happiness I will always remember.
My father’s strong arm around my mom, her eyes filled with warmth and love. I traced the edge
of the frame with my thumb my heart heavy with longing and rearet
170 When you love someone…
I stared at it, lost in thought until a knock startled me from my
The door creaked open and Lyla peered in. “Can I come in?”
