84 Die and be done with it.
Lyla D
I should get used to disgrace by now but as I walked away feeling the thousand pair of eyes on my back, I knew that I would never get used to this, no matter how much I tried.
Maybe, I should just die and be done with it.
I walked until I could no longer hear the murmurs of those around me or see the pity in their eyes. I still didn’t stop until I reached a small copse of trees hidden from view. Only then, did I allow myself to break.
Everything inside me shattered. The sobs came violently, shaking my entire body. I pressed my back against a rough tree trunk and slid to the ground. Not caring about my clothes or dignity as tears dripped down my face in torrents.
My mother’s words kept echoing in my head.
Not my daughter. Wicked. Worthless. Abomination.
I touched my cheek where the slaps had landed, feeling the heat of broken blood vessels beneath my skin. But the pain paled in comparison to the heartache I felt.
I had known, somewhere deep inside, that choosing Nathan would have consequences. But this?
This complete rejection, this public denouncement? And this was not the first time. z
If my mother hated me so much, why did she give birth to me? What on earth did I do to her to always get this hostile treatment?
My sobs quietened. I inhaled and exhaled deeply.
Once I’m done with whatever burial rites they needed me to do for my father, I’ll round them up as fast as I can and head back to my life.
Back in the human world… I mattered, I was an important person. A valuable member of my work team, a good student at school, a good neighbour and Paul… he…
That was when I remembered that I had yet to reply to his text. Quickly, I took out my phone from my pocket, wiping the tears from my eyes as a ghost smile appeared on my lips. This humiliation is nothing compared to what I’d had suffered 3 years and six months ago.
I would give Paul a chance if he asks me out and hope our relationship grows into something beautiful. Maybe, I might start a family….
No! I shook my head at the last bit. No children. I didn’t want any child of mine to suffer the same fate as me. In the human world, men are fond of keeping their boundaries. You could be in a relationship and still act like an independent entity. So, even if I told Paul that I didn’t want children, he would understand.
Male humans will go to any length for the woman they love.
Sighing with satisfaction, I opened his message and typed back a reply.
84 Die and be done with it.
few minutes, texting him and smiling like a fool. He was a charmer.
I was enjoying my texting when a call from Nanny came in. I took it immediately.
“Hii…” I said happily. Being here in the bush with the sweet night air blowing at me warmly must have caused the pain to dissipate from my heart. I was happy.
“You sound excited?” Nanny observed. “Not exactly the report I got. Are you alright dear?”
“Very fine and I had a feeling Nathan would call you.” I sighed. “I just had a little quarrel with my mom earlier but it’ll be fine. Did Nathan tell you he’s now an Alpha?”
“He didn’t mention that!” Nanny chuckled “He was so busy freaking out when he called me. “So, did he propose yet?”
I blushed at the question. “Why would you even say that? I told you nothing can happen between me and him. We’re best friends and we’re not involved like that.”
“You did, true but you can’t speak on his behalf too. Have you seen the way he smoulders you with his look whenever you’re not looking; with eyes filled with lust, love, passion and everything a woman wants.”
“You need to get your eyes checked. Nathan is not like that, Nan…”
“Sure, sure, she teased “Just make sure you’re never behind a closed door with him. I know your mate was a Lycan and their thing is big but I heard Werewolves are quite different. They’re the masters of sex and…” 1
“Ewww… Nanny…” I blurted wrinkling my face in irritation. “Why are we talking about sex on the phone? What kind of example are you setting for me?”
“You’re not a virgin, Lyla and you’re 23. Believe it or not, I wish one of these days, you’ll show up to the house pregnant or something. You’re too reserved for a young woman. When was the last time you got laid? Or even kissed?”
Nathan!
My memory flashed his name. Nathan was the last time I got kissed. I blushed deeply, suddenly feeling ashamed as though if I continued with this conversation I might get exposed.
“Okay, I’m getting off now. I can’t stand you when you’re feisty. By the way… did you meet your friends?”
Nanny had travelled with us but had gone to Golden Gates pack to visit friends. Since she didn’t want my mother’s wrath.
“Yeah! A lot of catching up to do. Now, go and find, Nathan… he’s calling again and I’m sure he’s worried and if he proposes and you’re unsure about it… just seduce him and make love to him. Sex is like a…”
“Goodnight!” I interrupted her and ended the call before she could say something else.
I took in a deep breath, trying to still my pounding heart. I’ve been celibate for more than three years now and I want to keep it like that. It’s not because of Nathan… but Ramsey. Ever since Lenny and I had the conversation, I keep getting hot flashes of our first time together.
84 Die and be done with it.
+35
And to think that I could remake that memory again, with me back to this world…. Frightened me. I didn’t want to be thinking about sex and Ramsey.
Sighing, I rose to my feet, cleaning off the debris of sand from my clothes. I needed to go home. As I took a step towards the direction I had come, the air grew colder and the wind stop blowing.
The air became still… the kind of stillness that sent goosebumps all over my body. It felt as if someone was coming… as if someone was watching me. Then I heard approaching footsteps. Loud and distinct…I held my breath, swallowing hard as my heart hammered against my ribs. The footsteps whoever it was suddenly stopped at the edge of the trees and waited….
I waited to, unable to move… above me, through the branches, the moon hung full and bright Was this another Feral attack? Did they know I was here now?
Suddenly, the shrubs in front of me flattened as a familiar face appeared.
“Lyla…”
