Chapter 9
42%
He slammed his fist against the steering wheel, triggering the horn and startling a group of pedestrians crossing in front of us.
After restarting the car, he drove in silence for several minutes, the muscles in his jaw working as he clenched his teeth.
“Where were you this past month?” he finally asked, his voice lower, controlled again.
Then, as if casually, he added, “You’ve lost weight. Been eating properly?” The question caught me off guard–not because of its content, but because of the flash of actual concern that seemed to cross his face. In five years of marriage, he’d never once commented on my health unless it was to criticize.
I had no desire to share anything about my new life with him. From now on, my days and nights were mine alone. My small victories, my quiet moments of joy–he had no right to them anymore.
I changed the subject instead:
“So… you guys picked a place yet? Botanical Gardens gets booked up fast.”
I thought I saw him flinch at Kate’s name, but it might have been my imagination. I suspected he wanted to ask how I’d spent my time near the ocean.
After my near–drowning in high school, I’d developed an intense fear of water. Even when my parents planned family vacations, I’d avoid all water activities. That near–death experience had haunted me like a recurring nightmare. But during my month in San Diego, I’d made a breakthrough I was proud of. I’d walked along the shoreline one entire afternoon, my heart racing with each step closer to the water’s edge. The first time the foam rushed over my feet, I’d almost screamed, remembering the sensation of being pulled under, of my lungs. burning. But I’d stayed. And the next day, I’d gone back. By the end of the month, I’d actually waded in waist–deep, letting the waves rock me gently, my arms spread wide in surrender. The ocean that had nearly claimed my life now felt like an embrace.
In those moments suspended between fear and triumph, I’d finally released the guilt that had defined me for so long.
1/2
12:57 PM Mon 10 Mar
109
Ethan’s mocking voice brought me back to reality.
“What else? Want to plan our honeymoon and pick out baby names too?”
42%
We’d arrived at the courthouse. He pulled into a parking space and came around to open my door.
Before I could get out, he grabbed my arm again, pinning me against the car. “Olivia, what game are you playing? Trying to act all magnanimous to make me feel guilty?”
His face was inches from mine, close enough that I could smell his familiar cologne, see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes. For a moment, something shifted in his expression–something raw and vulnerable, almost desperate.
But his voice, his touch, his entire presence now evoked nothing but profound weariness in me.
Even physically, I found myself recoiling from his proximity.
I jerked free from his grip and stepped away.
“No games. I just want this divorce finalized so we never have to see each other again.
“Are you satisfied, Ethan? I’ve repaid my debt to you.”
He stared back at me, eyes suddenly rimmed with red.
“Repaid? How could you possibly repay what you owe? Can you bring my father back?”
Ade to Library – Read Anytime
