And then, I saw thirty–year–old Ethan.
But there was also a girl by his side. She was
holding his arm, looking friendly.
I felt a mix of anger and sadness.
I’d never held Ethan’s arm.
Duɩ i was aisu a iillic happy, il seemeu Lunan
was doing well.
Brooke ran right up to him and held up the
half–photo. “Ethan! Do you recognize the
person in this photo?”
Help me!
Why was she so brash!
Her question was abrupt and ill–timed.
But Ethan stopped.
His eyes fixed on the photo, and then he
looked at Brooke with icy eyes.
Brooke wasn’t the only one who was startled.
I took a step back too.
Ethan’s eyes looked like they could eat
someone alive.
“No.”
My hopes crashed to the ground.
Ethan said he didn’t recognize me.
Brooke sat in the car, holding the photo and
wondering “Did I got it wrong? Ethan’s
wondering, “Did I get it wrong? Ethan’s
reaction was strange, it didn’t seem like he
didn’t recognize it.”
I didn’t understand, how could Ethan forget
me?
Was his love a lie?
I didn’t care that he’d found someone else,
but how could he forget me?
Now, even if he found out I was dead, he
wouldn’t be sad.
Someone knocked on Brooke’s car window. It
was the girl who was standing next to Ethan.
She said, “Hello, I’m Olivia. I’d like to buy the
photo from you. Name your price.”
“Sorry, I’m not selling it. But if you could tell
me if Ethan recognizes the person in the
photo, I might give it to you.”
“I can tell you, the person in the photo almost
ruined Ethan.”
“What?”
<
“What?”
“Having that photo isn’t a good thing.
Everything related to that woman is a
sensitive topic for Ethan. Be careful.”
“Is that so?”
Brooke gave Olivia the photo.
I heard her mumble behind her back, “Things
are getting interesting.”
“Whether it’s a sensitive topic, I gotta test the
waters.”
Huh?
I thought Olivia would destroy the photo, but
she didn’t.
She took the photo to the hotel and gave it to
Ethan.
“Haven’t you moved on?”
Ethan took the photo, didn’t look at it, and
threw it in the trash.
He said, “I forgot who she was a long time
ago.”
…..
I sat by Ethan’s feet, looking at the photo in
the trash, unable to describe my feelings.
That was the only photo of Ethan and me.
I took it when we went to the amusement
park.
I remember, he had pink cotton candy, it was
So sweet.
I had two copies printed.
My dad tore one up.
That’s how he found out about Ethan and me.
I secretly brought the remaining photo to the
mental hospital.
During the fire, I hid the photo in a candy tin
and placed it in a mouse hole behind the
peeling wallpaper. I used my body to block
the fire and managed to save half of the
photo.
As a ghost, I pictured Ethan’s face every day.
Although the photo was ruined, I never forgot
what he looked like
<
…
I remembered every word he said.
It was all in my head.
But Ethan forgot.
The hotel maid threw my photo in an even
bigger trash can.
I had no choice but to follow her.
I wanted to tell Ethan.
I understood a lot of things over the past ten
years.
I saw boys and girls kissing in alleys,
promising to love each other forever, but then
the boy kissed someone else and made the
same promise.
I saw divorcing couples fighting over property
and children, hating each other and wishing
they were dead.
I saw couples who weren’t in love going on
dates. Their eyes had no love in them.
still couldn’t define love
<
But I knew that my love was stronger than
most of theirs.
I wouldn’t lie or change my mind.
But I didn’t understand Ethan’s love.
I leaned against the trash can late at night.
Love was complicated.
No wonder my dad thought I couldn’t learn it.
Before dawn, I saw Ethan in his pajamas.
He had red eyes while digging through the
trash.
He picked up my photo.
After wiping the photo, he shoved the photo
in his pocket.
Ethan was sad.
Why?
Hadn’t he said he’d forgotten?
He brought the photo back to his room,
feeling dejected, and sat on the bed, not
moving.
<
Love shouldn’t make people sad.
I wanted to tell Ethan.
If it made him sad, he shouldn’t love me, it
was okay if he forgot me.
I regretted leaving this photo.
Ethan put the photo in his wallet and carried
it with him.
And so, I could stay with Ethan every day.
He didn’t mention my name or try to find me.
He still didn’t know about my death.
A
He and Olivia attended a party after the
summit.
Everyone praised them as the perfect match
and asked when they would get married.
The thought of Ethan marrying someone else
made me want to disappear.
I wanted him to be happy, but I didn’t want to
see it.
Love was selfish, exclusive.
I even thought about letting Ethan know I was
く
dead, so he would remember me and not
marry Olivia.
Ethan bought the house I used to live in.
The agent told him, “It’s a haunted house. It’s
had two owners. The last owner went
bankrupt, and the one before that committed
suicide. The first people who lived there lost
their child, so they moved overseas. Would
you like to consider another property?”
I perked up when I heard that.
But Ethan was replying to a message and
didn’t hear anything the agent said.
“Contract.”
After looking at it, Ethan signed his name.
Even though Ethan had beautiful handwriting
and long, slender fingers, they weren’t very
flexible.
I had to teach him how to carve things.
And he didn’t listen when I spoke to him. His
ears turned as red as cherries, making me
L
lose focus too.
Late at night, Ethan sat in the room where we
used to study, without the lights on.
I looked around and saw that my things were
gone.
He lit a cigarette and looked out the window.
What was Ethan thinking about?
The next day, he had everything moved away.
The house was empty.
Ethan took time to sit there every day, doing
nothing.
The sunset streamed through the windows.
He sat on the floor, looking at the wild roses
outside the window.
The sunset lit him, creating a sad
atmosphere.
I sat by his side, keeping him company.
Ethan, were you thinking of me?
